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gregarious-me.
Sunday, February 20, 2011

我好气、好闷。我现在只想找个地方来发泄。

我的生日就快到了,可是家里却没有一人在乎。
当我再一次向爸爸提起时,他给我的答案既然是:我红包给你二十块就好了,今年什么庆祝都没有。
我真个人几乎傻掉了,心想着这句话是我最敬爱的爸爸说的话吗?
他这么可以这样说?我不是乞丐啊,我不是在向你乞讨。
二十块对我来说,算什么?
我要的是你的祝福、是你身为一个父亲对女儿期许,不是你的钱!
倘若你真的给了我这二十块,只要是你真心诚意的祝福,我当然会欣然接受。
就算是一包糖、一碗面线,我也会很开心的。
可是你却只是在敷衍我,这才是我最最痛心的地方。

我并不是要邀功,可是我觉得真的真的很委屈。
平时家里的家务和杂事,都是我在做、我在帮忙。
谁谁谁需要帮忙的时候,我也会是第一个站出来。
谁谁谁做错事时,我也会站出来顶罪。
我也好想做个千金小姐啊,可是情况根本不应许我翘脚,什么都不用做、什么都不用帮忙。
你明明就看在眼里,为什么要假装不知道?
我不指望你责备任何人,因为他们是我的家人,可是你能不能对我有多一点的关心,公平一点点?
都是你的女儿,可为什么待遇却是如此不一样呢?

你知道吗,每当我和妈妈出去逛街时,只要是我看到喜欢的东西,妈妈都会买给我。
她会买给我不是因为她宠我,更不是因为我任性地要她买给我,而是因为她知道我辛苦了。
可是我却从来都没有贪过任何一样礼物,我只接受该属于我的东西,像是我的生日礼物或是圣诞礼物。
为什么你不能像妈妈那样地安慰我,明白我、关心我呢?

我们不能选择自己的家人、自己的父母。
可是如果时间能再倒来,我还是希望能做你的女儿。
我只是不希望自己再是排行最后的一个了。

PS: 我需要的是一个能将心比心的人。

what we could have been, ★ JESS™@6:40 PM.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

hi fellow readers!
i'm back once again:)

fyi, dis's my first time blogging through my itouch.
it's quite user friendly i think?

anyway, it's week5 dis week.
school has been pretty hectic.
i'm still trying to get used to it.
mondays and fridays are definitely not my favourite days of de week!
and as usual, every tuesday will be my workout week:)

in less den a month's time, i'll be heading off to my desired japan!
i realli can't wait for dec11 to arrive:D
till den, i must keepup my attendance to de best!

alrighty, blog updated.
turning in! goodnight~

what we could have been, ★ JESS™@11:47 PM.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

hi peeps!
i noe i haven't been updating for my space for quite a while.
it's kinda dead right? LOL!
but who cares man? i noe there are still people out there who still wana read up about my life;D

alrighty, i shall start from de latest, if only i can still recall.
japan's trip is confirmed!
i'll be flying off on de 11th of dec and coming back on de 16th of dec.
we wanted to extend our trip to hokkaido but as usual, it's too late as there were no more seats.
honestly speaking, japan's trip won't be able to materialize without god's help.
we'll always book our tickets only in 1months' time wif at least 20px and wif Singapore Airlines.
somemore, we can only leave on de nov and dec(peak period).
wif dat, it makes de agency even tougher to find seats for us.
even for de korea trip, we were also placed on de waiting list.
soo, i'm grateful dat god listened to my prayers.
you wouldn't noe how much dis japan trip means to me.
as a young little girl, i had always wanted to visit tokoyo's disneyland.
i guess, it's a dream in all child.
at de age of 19, my dream will be fulfilled!

finishing wif my japan's trip update, i'll be talking about school!
yea, school had reopened for 2weeks after 2months of holidays.
modules had been quite relaxed lately.
except for cloud computing, others seemed fine to me.
cloud computing and IS will never be my forte. Haa.
coming 3years of tertiary education, we'll all be graduating in few months' time.
dis means we'll all be parting soon.
some will be furthering their studies while mostly will be joining de workforce.
it's time for everybody to give some thoughts of our future:)

thanks diary.
goodnight!

what we could have been, ★ JESS™@7:32 PM.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

dear diary, how does it feels when ur mum doesn't trust you?
heart-wrenching? watever? total disappointment?
i'm turning 20 veri soon, forever still a kid in her eyes and i can totally understand why.
but i guess it's pretty important dat people accepts for who you are, especially from ur family.
yes, family.
you can get de least respect from ur friends but not my family.
only family dun hide, only family accepts, only family...

my dad fares up for no reason, my mum gets emotionally unstable, my bro complains.
my life dun get to breathe normally like wat teens are doing out there!
it's all about grumbling, complaining and scolding.
noe wat? i'm realli getting sick and tired of all these shits i'm facing all these while.
i devoted all my time and effort on dis family dat i called home.
i dun expect for any return, hoping for a tiny little bit of appreciation.
but all i had gotten will be dissatisfaction and backstabbing.
is dis wat a family is like? should be like? can be like?

i hate, i detest.
i can't choose my family.
i think i realli need some chill out;(

it's good to have you around diary.
anyway, thanks diary.
goodnight.

what we could have been, ★ JESS™@10:31 PM.


I am who I am.
IMG_2965 JESS is how my friends addresses me.
I'm current 19 in de year of 2010. :)
I fell in love with BLUE & ORANGE. :)
ELMO is greatly loved by me. :)
I'm a PISCESgirl & TRAVELLING is my favourite.
I'm a Happi-Go-Lucky girl & my BFF is Miss蕙蕙. :)
I'm currently a Year3 IT student in NYP & I turned a year older at every 26o2.

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